Taking Requests and Answering Questions
Virtuous Husband here!
Today I’m going to try my best to answer two questions I
received on my wife’s blog. I thought
this was going to be easy, but I got some very serious questions! Now for the first question.
How do I help my
husband be a stronger spiritual leader? He is a believer, but he just hasn't
taken a leadership role.
To be honest, I didn’t really know how to answer either
question I was asked. I’ve thought a lot
about them, prayed about them, done research, listened to sermons, read the
bible, and talked to my wife. Pretty
much everything I could think of. I
found several good websites on how to encourage your husband, some of them
pretty harsh to women, but one thing stood out to me. All these articles were being written by
women! It seems to me like this is a
real need that women have and I believe God formed this desire into them. More on that in another letter.
I got the next few scriptures and some of the text toward
the bottom from a sermon by Paul Washer entitled “What a Man is Not”.
Genesis 18:19
18 Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation, and all nations on earth will be blessed through him.[c] 19 For I have chosen him , so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.”
18 Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation, and all nations on earth will be blessed through him.[c] 19 For I have chosen him , so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.”
Abraham was the father of a nation and his descendants are
innumerable, like the stars in the sky.
You would think God would have chosen him for some certain skill or
ability that he had, but no. God chose
him so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the
way of the Lord. That really shows you
where God’s priorities are!
Deuteronomy 6:5-9
5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Ok when I read this I feel really
inadequate. In reading & researching
this, it hit me. I’m not being the
spiritual leader I’m supposed to be for my family. I mean we go to church, most of the
time. We are careful what we watch on TV
and what we listen to. There is so much
garbage out there, and it’s so easy to be desensitized to it. My wife and I are both doing our best to
grow; we still have a long way to go. Don’t
get me wrong, we’ve both come a really long way, and it’s a testament to God
for not giving up on us. I’ve definitely
done some good things as the spiritual leader in my home, but not as much as I
should. Whenever something was totally unacceptable
I would stand my ground and say, no we are not doing this period. There was once or twice, early on in our
relationship where it caused a MAJOR fight, but I would stand my ground and not
back down no matter what. I didn’t yell
or raise my voice, I just stayed as calm as possible and was unwavering. In the short term, let’s just say it didn’t
earn me any brownie points. But, in the
long term my wounds have healed up nicely (joking of course) and everything is
great. Now she is a Christian, thank
God! We are much closer on our ideas
& views, so I don’t really see us having any huge arguments.
Ephesians 6:4
4 Fathers,[b] do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
4 Fathers,[b] do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
The whole time my children are under my authority, in my
house, I am to pour my life into them, do everything for them, teach them the
scripture, lead them by example, and their responsibility is to honor me and
obey me. If my children do obey me, then
I will be responsible on the Day of Judgment for the way I have led my
children.
I am under God’s authority and I am putting my wife and
children under the same authority than I am under. I’m not going around commanding them, making
stuff up on a whim, I have to follow God’s word. Since I have to obey His word and His word
has brought such a blessing in my life, in my house they will obey this word.
From what I read from women who have went through the same
situation and the new burden on my heart to be a better spiritual leader for my
family, I can say I feel the best way to encourage your husband to be a better
spiritual leader it to pray for him.
Since he is already a Christian I think if he were to do some reading and
find out what God expects of him, he would be more motivated to try
harder. I certainly am! I’ll be honest, when I get home from work, I
play with my kids and help get them bathed, but in some way I just shut down. I’m tired, I’m ready to relax. Every night I am always there to put them in
bed and we all pray together as a family.
Which is good, but I’m going to try to do better. I bought the girls a devotional where you
read a story, then read a bible verse, and they repeat a prayer with you. I’m going to do better about reading that, rather
than let it gather dust on the shelf. My
wife has been doing better than me lately, she teaches the girls during the day
and it really blesses my heart, I’m so, so thankful for that. Like I said above, there is more to come on
this subject, just stay tuned!
In
your opinion, what makes a successful faithful marriage?
Let’s see what’s behind question number two! This one really tripped me up too. I couldn’t narrow it down to just one
thing. There are so many important
components to a marriage, there was no way I could name one over all the
others. I started thinking about all of
these different things and I noticed a pattern, they were all tied together in
a web, with Jesus being at the center. The key is to figure out how to get
your eyes off of the
storm, and onto
Jesus. As my old preacher would say,
“You need to get under the spout where the Glory is coming out!” Jesus makes a successful marriage. If both partners have their eyes on Jesus,
and are striving to be like him, and depending on him, a lot of your problems
will go away. They certainly did for my
family. When we started tithing
correctly, God’s hand on our life started blessing us in such incredible ways. Trust me, He can do more with nothing than
you can do with
everything! Here's a visual my wife and I drew up:
I don’t know if I’m old or wise enough to say
what makes a successful marriage on down the line. But for now, keep your eyes on Jesus and
don’t focus on the storm. I think if you
are both growing together in your faith as a couple and teaching your children
about the word of God. You are doing
alright. Just keep that up, and never
stop. If you are in the word, God will
reveal to you anything you need to know.
In my opinion the most important thing in life is your family and
teaching them the word of God. Your
children will tell their children stories of you, and train your grand children
with the principles you are teaching them now.
James 4:2 You do not have because you do
not ask God. Pray for wisdom to know
what to pray for!
2
Timothy 3:14-17
But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, 15 and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. 16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17 so that the servant of God[a] may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, 15 and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. 16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17 so that the servant of God[a] may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
Ok I have to give God glory. I honestly don’t know where all these
scriptures are coming from, they are just appearing in my brain and somehow
they all tie into what I am saying! I
mean what HE is saying! What a great
day!
Here are some websites that relate to helping your husband
become a better spiritual leader from some women who have been there and done
that. I sincerely hope these help you in
some way.
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